Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for her obviously. She's going through a lot. i am so happy that she has someone. And I'm so glad she's getting help and that she is proud of that. I am proud too. But the thing is that I would have done the same if she LET ME. She doesn't let me do anything and when she says stuff like that it puts me down like I'm so useless. It's SO clear to me that when she says that she sees me as the person who doesn't do shit. "Can you book one from there with your currency"? And when I try to offer my help and advice she always puts me down with "you don't understand". When I went through a hard time earlier this year at the graduation party she didn't even believe me. But I would never yell at her and tell her that she's saying stupid things. Or that she doesn't understand or get me. It just hurts A LOT.
Not that I am blaming her for anything like AT ALL. But right now I can't make this all about me and i am just SO grateful for this blog to unload myself to myself.
My friends really made my day today...but my Birthday was still a bummer...it was like always...and I felt like shit the whole time...
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