" Love " ...

I love her and I'm happy.

" Sick " ...

I just feel stressed.
Today I had a heart to heart with my mate.
I am just so stressed with everything going on in college.
And worst of all my mind feels blank...
My heart feels empty without her in my life...
That adds a massive stress in my life...
Yes I love it when she needs me...
Like yes I'm worth something in this relationship.
But now I just feel so worthless...
In this relationship...
In college...
In my life...
It's like everyone is moving on without me...
Today I got physically sick...
Five times...
The stress...
The heartbreak...
I just do not know what is what anymore...
Yes...
Heart break...
My heart is broken...
Broken...

" Cutting " ...

I am cutting right now... 

I stopped mid way and a scary thought came to me... 

There's nothing stopping me right now... 

Nothing... 

I have nothing stopping me from just slashing my flesh... 

Nothing stopping me from hurting myself... 

Nothing stopping me from ending it all... 

Nothing at all... 

My parents will be fine without me... 

My brother has his own life... 

My love wants nothing to do with me... 

My princess hates me... 

Soon I'll be alone in my room...

I just want to end it all right now... 

 

" What...? " ...

What am I even doing anymore?
What is life anymore?
What is my purpose anymore?
What is the world anymore?
Everything crumbling down...
Everything a whirling mess of problems...
Everything falling apart...
My purpose destroyed...
My baby hates me...
My love hates me...
I want them all back...
My father...
My everything...
My Thatha...
I miss you Thatha...
I miss you so much...
I wish you were here...
To tell me what to do...
To tell me that everything will be okay...
To tell me that my princess will love me again...
To tell me that SHE will be mine again...
Please Thatha...
I miss you...
Please come back...
Please...
I meed you...
Please...

" By Myself " ...

This is a fact and it's time that I have faced it. I am all by myself when it comes to dealing with my emotional world. I used to have only her I could say anything to. She cared about me she was always worried about me. I miss that honestly. Lately she's just given up on me. Whenever I share a problem it's like I am "gaining sympathy" or "victimizing myself" But no all I really want is JUST some moral support. I miss my baby girl I miss her and all she does is rub in the fact that I have missed her whole life. I shall ALWAYS regret that...always...she said she'd never do what I did to her about that fake date. This is worse...keeping my angel from me...my heart breaks. It does. But the truth? I feel alone. Just like that time that I was molested. Nobody believed me. She even accused me of wanting it...liking it...yes I felt alone. Whenever I go through something emotionally because of home...yes I am alone. She always compares her problems to mine. I never do that I listen to her support her even when she talk about hers for hours. But I never have that support...never...yes I understand your problems. Yes I do...but please understand mine this is not a competition...
My father is moving out because of the divorce. Nothing else. He is abandoning me and everything and going away for a week with his new girlfriend. He has kept this no secret. I love him I love my father he is my father but I just cannot deal with this right now. My mother is having a mental breakdown because the reason for him going away and with who was told to us last night. I lashed out and threw my phone on him and it stopped working. I have to get a new one. That's an excuse that I used to not get "sympathy" I feel so alone...

" Confused? " ...

I don't know what it is...
But she is suddenly in love with me...
Suddenly all over me...
I don't get it...
But don't get me wrong...
I LOVE IT !! :D
I am just SO happy.
I LOVE HER !!
BUT...
Let's face the facts...
We are not together...:'(
Yes, that makes me sad...
But I shall never show it...
And yes...
Small comments like that...
That I missed a lot of my Princess's...
Yes that will always burn my heart...
Yes even though it isn't my fault...
I am gonna always regret missing my baby...
It will always leave a hollow mark in my heart.
But that still leaves me confused...
We are clearly not together and never will be...
So why all of this...?
Huh...?
Hm...?
Confused...

" A New Beginning " ...

Wow today actually felt like a start. I stopped moping around. I'm completely honest and open with everything that I am feeling and I just feel so free. That she knows. That everything just feels so right again. No fight. No pain. Only love. True love. I love her.
Okay I am being honest. I feel lust towards her...I cannot help it :S
But does it feel wrong? No. I love her...that's why it just doesn't feel wrong like AT ALL.

" Cutting " ...

I am scared of who I am becoming...
I am scared of being enveloped in the dark...
It's like a darkness has taken me over...
It's like I just cannot control myself...
I do bad things...
I have become a bad person...
I do not care about my body...
I do not care what happens to me...
I just do not care anymore...
About life...
About my soul...
About my heart...
My broken heart...
My beaten heart...
It's beaten so much, there's no beats left...
No more life left in it...
No more happiness left in my heart...
I am cutting now...
Cutting has made me dark...
Cutting...
I'm just a body going about my life right now...
No soul...
Nothing...
Nothingness...
Emptiness...
Come back to me...

" I Screwed Up " ...

I screwed up really bad...
All I just wanted to do was to make her realise that she wants me...
But I screwed up really bad...
I miss her...
I love her...
I cannot stop cutting...
I want to stop cutting...
But I can't...:'(
I am scared...
I'm losing it...
I lost her...
I am fucking scared...
:'(...

" Hard " ...

I was trying to get my mind off her the whole day. I couldn't, she's my weakness. So I finally texted her, called her...but she never answered and I guess she hates me...she's tired of me...it's over...I just feel so lost...I want her...I want love...I want her love...The pain that I feel inside is unbearable...No physical pain can ever even compare to it.
I started cutting again today...and I just cannot hold it in anymore...The blood the pain it felt good...I felt free...I felt liberated...I love her...I miss her...cutting...just feels so good...

" I Just Miss Her " ...

Todays' post is just I miss her so much...last night with my Princess I just felt like a family. Putting her to bed, laying with her...kissing her goodnight. Waiting up together for her and then just watching over her the whole time...laying with her all three of us together...I feel like an actual family. Then it hit me...we'd never be that...I'll NEVER have that with her...and it stung me. It hurt me so much. And the kind of pain that I feel right now is just such a stab to my heart...I want that...I want her...I miss her...I love her...I miss her...

" Coming out " ...

I never want to talk to anybody about this but my therapist. Not my friends not anybody. But i just couldn't help myself last night. I was all alone yesterday. I was all in the dark and so depressed. She saw me say to my love "Whore?" and she was like what is this all about? I didn't wanna talk about anything. My mate noticed it and told me to spend the night at her place. I went and we were talking about her crush and so we ate we watched a movie at her place and then she asked me "What's going on with you". When I said that nothing was she said "Come on tell me." So I spilled my heart out and told her everything. About the breakup. About our conversations. Everything. She asked me why I am constantly letting her "walk all over me". Why I was letting her abuse me. Why I'm with someone who I am not happy with. She said that she noticed this a lot. About how I always smile (because that's just me) but also about how she knows just exactly what's going on deep inside. Apparently a bunch of them talked about it too. About how she is very dominating. I told her that I don't know why I am just so deep in love with her to do and be like this. I guess it's because she is my future. I see her in everything...I dream about her every single night...I get nightmares though too...about her drooling over her abs about how they are dating and so happy and that "abs" (that's what I'll call her from right now) was giving her everything that I couldn't like physical touch. I wake up sweating. She is always in my head in my life plan in everything...And I just cannot live without her I JUST CAN'T. My mate said and told me that no matter what she is going through that she can just never treat me like this or ever call me that again. And that I need to stand up for myself and put my foot down. That she is older and that's why she is doing this. That she is just taking advantage of how I am as a person which is just this. But I love her and I refuse to open up to my mates because their opinion is not welcome. They just don't get it or understand it. I love them to death no doubt especially "N" but I am sorry they just do not get this part of me. No doubt she understands me so fully and so much but just not my relationship. I am heart broken and I want her back. I long to kiss her. I long to be a couple with her and flirt with her. Be her everything...I'm not anymore...I'm just not...but i miss her...and I shall ALWAYS love her...always... 

 

" Pushing Me Away " ...

I feel like sometimes when you tell me that you love me you just don't mean it.
That ring was a symbol of our love.
That ring was everything to us.
That ring was everything to me...
The second you said that it was over...
You stopped wearing it.
How can you still tell me that you love me?
You took off the symbol of our love.
It wasn't a symbol of us being together.
No.
It was a symbol that you still love me...
That you'll always love me.
I guess that it's too much to expect...
After all I have done to hurt you...
After making you wait...
When you deserve everything in this whole world...
You need that physical touch.
And yes, someone can give you that.
Yes you dreaming about her hurt.
It was like kicking me in the face.
Her abs are gorgeous she's beautiful.
You used to tell me i'm perfect.
How does her having abs be gorgeous when that's not what you want?
Clearly you do.
And for the FIRST TIME EVER.
You told me to go to the gym.
You know what?
I just give up on my body.
I just don't give a fuck about it anyways.
I just give up on life to be honest...
I just honestly cannot be the one always running behind you saving this relationship...
Yes I love you and I always will...
But you have to realise that yourself...
And I'll be right here...
Waiting...
Forever if that's what it takes...
For you...
You...

" Happy " ...

I sit here looking over at my roommate...so happy... 

Yes she and her boyfriend have their own problems...but at the end they're always happy...why can't I have normality...? Why can't I have that happiness...? Why can't I laugh and just have a teenage relationship. I got sucked into this...and now that she ended it...I just want it all back...how it used to be...how we wanted our future to be...I just want all of that... 

 

" Stop Hurting Myself " ...

Everyone always said that I deserve better...I always fought...I was always with them at their WORST no home nothing...I was always there...I am unable to support financially and I hate myself for that...but she said just being there was enough and I always was...I NEVER wasn't...NEVER left...and now it's not good enough...when they found out about me...they hit me they isolated me from their lives...they never spoke to me...I got hit everyday...but I still found a way to be with her...to talk to her...I risked a lot...I fought...I never just listened to them and gave up...never...but I am unappreciated...I'm abused...insulted...I hate my life...constantly being blamed...constantly being abused...yet broken when she's not in my life...I just never want to exist...I never deserve love...I don't deserve anything...I just want to be dead...

" Broken Hearted " ...

My heart is broken in so many different ways. I had to let go of the love of my life...she deserves someone who can give her everything...who's actually trying...looks like she's happy moving on...she realised it too...that she deserves SO MUCH MORE than me...my mother's lungs are on the verge of failing...I'm losing everyone...and I'm losing myself...

" Not Gonna Make It About Me " ...

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for her obviously. She's going through a lot. i am so happy that she has someone. And I'm so glad she's getting help and that she is proud of that. I am proud too. But the thing is that I would have done the same if she LET ME. She doesn't let me do anything and when she says stuff like that it puts me down like I'm so useless. It's SO clear to me that when she says that she sees me as the person who doesn't do shit. "Can you book one from there with your currency"? And when I try to offer my help and advice she always puts me down with "you don't understand". When I went through a hard time earlier this year at the graduation party she didn't even believe me. But I would never yell at her and tell her that she's saying stupid things. Or that she doesn't understand or get me. It just hurts A LOT.

Not that I am blaming her for anything like AT ALL. But right now I can't make this all about me and i am just SO grateful for this blog to unload myself to myself. 

My friends really made my day today...but my Birthday was still a bummer...it was like always...and I felt like shit the whole time... 

" Have I Lost My Credibility? " ... ?

When we were talking about Baby Dino I just couldn't help myself...I burst out my soul...
But then I thought it's healthy to cry I'm front of her...
But then she asked me something...are you jealous...do you want me to talk about you now...?
Is that what everyone thinks of me now...? Self absorbed...when there's such a beautiful Angel out there...whom I want...I want as my son...is that what they think...?

" We Lost Him " ...

It's funny because I never personally knew him...but losing Baby Dino felt like losing my Star all over again...I should stop trying to be a mother figure when nobody will ever see me that way...my princess...she doesn't...and that hit me today...although it was my fault for expecting...my Star...gone...my Dino...gone...It's like the heartache of losing my Star ALL over again...except times 2 today all over again...I just lost 2 children today...

" Dear Blog " ...

Dear blog, I am just do sorry because it seems to me that I only come to you in times of distress like this past month...
Soon it will all be over. I have deleted all of my social media. When I'm around new faces there's nobody to stop me...so in a few days the world will be rid of Nathania Nita Rao. The world will be at peace...you will be at peace...everyone will be at peace...and me? I will be resting in peace...just peace...everywhere...for everyone...

" It's Settled Then " ...

It's officially settled then...I just cannot live anymore...

" Over " ...

It's like I screw up everything in my life...
And I just ruined everything...
I will never be with the love of my life my soul mate ever again...it is all just my fault I'm such a fuck up ... with my love...Nish mama Mark Ben Everyone ... I might as well just not live.

" Yup " ...

So this morning I woke up and I had slept like a rock after MONTHS.
So uhmmm...today I had a wet dream about her and I just woke up soaking...no joke...it was so hot and omg I just wanna make out with her and just never stop...god...

" Oh My God " ...

So we just had such a sensual moment and then it stopped...but if I could just kiss again and again and over and over again and just not stop...god...who knows what will happen...
If that didn't stop...well it's obvious...omg...

" I'm Retarded " ...

Can I kiss you...CAN I KISS YOU!? WTF is wrong with me!? Was I high why did I tell her all of that!? 

Plus everytime we cuddle or something GOD I just wanna kiss her so bad. That passionate kiss. God I love you I love you I love you FOREVER...It's just so hard I'm so stuck and I'm effing SCREWED !!  

 

" Horrible Day " ...

Today was horrible. Went out on a friendly dinner with him and then he tries to kiss me!? Thank god nothing even touched like wtf that's NOT friends and that sure as HELL isn't like EVER happening EVER AGAIN !!  

" OMG " ...

I CANNOT BECAUSE I AM FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU IDIOT AND IT IS JUST SO BLOODY POINTLESS !!  

" Sure " ...

Now I am sure of my decision not to go to the Hilton with him tomorrow because I LOVE YOU and that is FOREVER !! :D  

" Magical 3 Words " ...

Omg it was said...
Even if it wasn't meant in a certain way...it was said !! My knees feel weak my stomach is in knots the cat got my tongue my heart skipped a beat and I'm smiling after so long...the real smile this time...:)

" Ugh " ...

So my mate gave him my BBM pin and it's super annoying at the moment. Someone else has my heart and is that SO hard to understand!? My toes started to bleed a little today which made me happy. Because it shows that my work is paying off. Positive climb.

" Reflection " ...

So today was intense at the gym. No names mentioned but HE kept bugging me and he still just doesn't understand "mates" and quite frankly it is getting on my nerves so from now on just morning sessions with no stupid distractions.
On another side note my suitcase is almost packed...

" Nothing " ...

When you needed me I was always there for you...
When you had nothing I stuck by you...
When you didn't have a home I promised you I'd be forever...
You made me promise to be your forever...
When  you had nobody I was with you...
When you were alone I was your everything...
Now that you don't need me anymore...
I am absolutely nothing to you...

" I Can't " ...

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I love you...

" Why " ...

You can never unlove...
And if you're in love you can never love another...
I'm stuck...
I can't unlove you...
And I cannot love another...
I lay here crying for hours with one thought in my head...
Why did I love you...?
Why is my love only growing...?
Why can't I unlove you...?
Please come back home...
Come back to me...
Why...
Why...
Why...
 ... ?

" Out " ...

Now to just get it all out of my system for today...

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.

" Burning " ...

It burns so bad when you're pushing me to someone else...
It's like you don't love me anymore...
It's like you don't want me anymore...
Ha...who am I kidding of course you don't...
But you don't have to keep shoving it on my face that you'll never love me again...
I don't want anyone else...
I want you...
And if you meet someone else I'll just die in silence with a smile on my face...
And if I never have you...
I will go to my grave wanting you...
Loving only you...

" Never Happening " ...

I just got asked out today at my gym.
He does a few classes with me.
I told him that my heart was still another's.
And he said that he understood and now we're just mates.
Mates.
That is such a simple word.
But when used correctly.
It could stab you in the heart.
And despite the fresh open wound...
You stand by your decision to love...
You choose love...
Because these feelings are forever...

" I Love You " ...

Since I have to say this to you everyday here it is...good morning and I love you...

" The Friend " ...

I guess that I'm not seen that way anymore...

A mate... 

A friend... 

That's all I'll ever be... 

Nothing more... 

It's my fault for putting this on my own... 

I pushed and pushed... 

And now it's just gone... 

Forever... 

My feelings shall stay till the day I die... 

Nobody shall ever know... 

Because that's the best thing to do... 

When they deserve SO much better than you... 

Tell nobody about these feelings... 

I'll take it to my grave... 

" Mistakes " ...

Everyone makes mistakes...
It's how we own upto them that defines us...
Defines who we are...
Defines our mark in this world...
Love is a battle...
I've been fighting for a long time now...
It's a fight that I am never giving up on...
It's a fight that defines me...
I've made a lot of mistakes...
But I believe that this is what defines me...
How I own up to my mistakes...
By fighting...
And never giving up...
Because that's what I know...
And that's what I believe in...
That's what defines the person that I am...

" People " ...

Sometimes I just don't understand people...
I love you unconditionally...
And you just don't see it...
Someone you haven't even talked to for years...
And they're on your mind all of the time...
They're the ones that left you...
All it took you...
Was a day to forget me...
A day to replace me...
A day...
Was that all I was to you...?
Worth to you...?
I'm not saying that I will take that place...
But why promise me all of that bullshit and then just not care...?
Why give me expectations...?
Heck !! Why even say anything at all...?
When you KNOW that I was just worth...
A day...
A day...
A day...

" Pushing Away " ...

You said that I couldn't push hard enough...
You said you'd never fall...
I cry alone because you went away...
Yet I wanted to push you astray...
Yes I pushed you away from me...
But only because darkness is all I see...
You don't need me...
I'm nothing but a burden...
Without you all I am...
Is falling...
You don't need to know that I crave you everyday...
You don't need to know that I need you every second...
All you need to know is that I'm fine...
As far as you know I'm strong...
And I don't need you...
I hide behind a curtain of lies...
I hide behind the blind truth...
That I cannot live without you...
But without me you are best...
Without me you can move forward...
You have other priorities...
And I need you to know that...
You said I couldn't push...
And I'm lost without you...
But you got pushed away...
I succeeded...
And I just cannot wait for your return...

" Crashing " ...

When your whole world just comes crashing down on you ...
When that one person, yes, that one person is literally your whole world ...
When suddenly...
You realise that maybe, just maybe their heart could just take someone else in...
Abandon you ...
But if you TRULY truly love that person...
You let them go...
You don't want to hold them back...
All you feel is guilty for holding them back from finding something better...
From being happier...
If you really love them...
Let them decide themselves if it's you who makes them happy...
Even if it will kill you...literally...
Even if you'll die everyday they're away from you...
Even though you'll always be in love with only them no matter what...
You just don't be selfish anymore...
Because if you truly love them...
You'll realise that they deserve only the best...
And you'll let them decide who's best for them...

" Stranger " ...

She stood right in front of her bedroom mirror...
She sucked her tummy in...
With one hand she clenched her nose together...
With the other she hid her dark circles under those eyes...
She widened her eyes...
She stuck her chest out...
She thrusted her bottom backwards...
She held her thighs together...
Was she finally beautiful...?
She looked up and staring right back at her ...
Was someone who was a total stranger to her...
With shame, she turned her face and walked away...
"I'll never be like them..." ...

" Alone " ...

She ran the tips of her fingers softly across her belly...
That smile on her face...
The glow in her eyes...
Embracing her new responsibility...
The one thing that reminded her...
Of her recently lost love...
The one thing that kept the memory of her love alive...
Her new motherhood...
She had lost her love only but a few weeks ago...
Tragedy they said...
But this new human being inside her...
This was his sign...
That her love is always alive in her heart...
In her soul...
In her life...
She found out only but a few days ago...
And suddenly her loss didn't pain anymore...
Because she realised that her love never died...
True love never dies...
And this was a reminder of their beautiful love...

But...


Suddenly she felt something run down her thigh...
she looked down...
That crimson stain on the crevasses of her nightgown...
All hope was lost...
Suddenly all that pain came back...
And she had never felt more alone...
That glow in her eyes...
That smile on her face...
That hope for a new motherhood...
That hope that her love was never gone...
Lost...
Gone...
Forever...
Alone...

" Okay " ...

When you don't care about anything else...
When you don't care even if they hate you...
When you don't care if they don't like what you're doing...
When you don't care that they might see you differently...
When you just don't care...
Because all you care about is them being okay...
Them just being okay...
When that's ALL you wanna hear...
That everything is...
And will always be...
Okay...

" Broken " ...

All it takes is one line ,,, 

To completely destroy your heart ... 

All it takes are those words ... 

To tear your soul apart ... 

Just the thought that someone else makes you happier ... 

It is like a knife stab in the heart ... 

Just the thought of you being with someone else tears you to bits ... 

You suddenly feel like you're drowning ... 

Air ... 

Where's the air ... 

The tears filling up in your eyes just like water filling in your lungs ... 

The lump in your throat no matter how much you swallow ... 

You cannot even speak ... 

Why can't I even speak ... 

Broken ... 

Torn ... 

Gone ...
 

" Oxygen " ...

When the sands of time freeze, and you're stuck in a past that you tried to bury, you're the one person on my mind...
When life beats you down and says that you're not good enough, you're the one person on my mind...
When all your insecurities flood your brain and try to drown you, you're the one person on my mind...
When I'm stuck at a crossroad of very important life decisions, you're the one person on my mind...
When I need that little bit of inspiration and magic to motivate me, you're the one person on my mind...

You see...everyone needs that one person in their mind through all the bad times...
The one person to always remind them of the future and to let go of the past...
The one person who never sees you any less than your worth...
The one person that always reminds you what your imperfections is what makes you their perfection...
When you think of that one person...you just know that you've made the right decision and you're just not confused anymore...
The one person who inspires you to be the better you...to be the bigger person...to be the best you can be ...

And yes...Every second without you...is like seconds of my life gasping for breath...because it feels like I'm searching for my oxygen ...

" Really Important Notice Guys !! " ...

Okay keep this in mind. Never plan a "surprise" or anything huge for anybody birthday and stuff cuz from my experience tonight...It never happens...like you planned or in this case at all haha xD !! But hey I'm a sucker for surprises. Idk I just love them for some reason...!! :3

" Haunted " ...

Just when you start to move forward ...
Just when you realise that life is all about new beginnings ...
New beginnings to a past that you left behind ...
The past creeps up on you like a spreading disease...
And like a cancer spreads all those dark memories and those dark pasts you tried to bruy...
All the way to your brain...
Your heart...
Like a promise...
A promise that you'll never ever be able to bury it...
A promise that you will be living with it for the rest of your life...
Living with the feeling...
The exact same feeling you felt 12 years ago...
You're gonna live with it...
and just like a cancerous disease...
It never ceases to exist...
And you're haunted for the rest of your life...

Happy Birthday To The Most Amazing Person EVER.

GELUKKIGE 21STE VERJAARDAG !! 

To this extremely gorgeous retarded beautiful crazy stubborn mad insane amazing awesome loveable girl my bae forever and always (even though she just never admits it but shhhhh she is :3) you're 21 today eh !! Oldieeee (goal accomplished? I think so ~ hi-5 ~ hun) ;) but hey !! :3 the new year of 2015 has just begun...your new year has just begun today exactly !! 21's a milestone !! So congratulations. This year has been SUCH an up and down for me...and us we've had our differences our fights...but if it's something this new year had taught me and you have taught me is to always move forward...you have taught me to stay strong and always smile be curse it's killer haha :) you taught me to be my own person because that person in amazing...you taught me that it's our imperfections that make us perfect...and you seriously are my perfection ... you taught me to forgive but never forget...heck you have CHANGED NO LIFE and I am so thankful and grateful that you're a huge part of it...and I love you for all that and much more...have an AMAZING year ahead keep smiling and keep bring yourself because you deserve it and you're simply fabulous...don't let ANYBODY ever tell you otherwise (P.S. they're just jealous eh ;)) I love you... and HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY WITH MANY MORE TO COME GOD BLESS ... I LOVE YOU !! 🎉😍😶😘💕🙆✌🙈😆😌💜💞👈😉🙊🙉💥💫🎁👭👯💓💖💟💝💘💗💚💛💙💋👅👄

" Soul mate - For The Right Reasons " ... ?

She is his soul mate...
They were like love at first sight...
Her beautiful eyes, the way they glistened in the night every time she looked at him...made the stars look dull...
Her beautiful lips and they way they were as pink as a sun kissed tan...
Her long beautiful legs just perfect...
Her small little ears that she tucked her hair behind every time she'd laugh ...

She is my soul mate...
We are love at first sight...
The beautiful eyes of her soul and how they saw the world, so differently, changing my whole outlook on life...
The beautiful lips of her soul and how they taught me a new lesson everyday with her words of wisdom...
The way the legs of her soul just glided through life and took everything that it threw at her, inspirational and strong...
The ears of her soul and how they'd listen to everything that was hurting me and throwing me under the bus, and how talking to her comforted me ...

Yes we are love at first sight...and I am so in love with her beautiful, strong, perfect soul ...