" What Upsets Me The Most " ...

Honestly...what upsets me the most...
Is my heart...
Yes...
My own heart...
The fact that I let it love...
Just opens it for disappointment...
Why do I let my heart love...?
Why do I set it up to be broken...?
Today was the worst day of my life... 

I LET HIM GO...
I miss my love...Who I left 4 years ago...
I miss him so much...
I constantly keep thinking...
How my life...and everything would just be different if he hadn't gone...
If he had just stayed...
My life would just be so different if he had just stayed...
My heart wouldn't be so broken...
Why did he leave...
And break my heart...
I let it be broken...
By just caring too much...
When things are going well...
I just DO NOT exist...
But then she misses me...
But you know what? ...
She just misses the IDEA of me...
The idea of someone who's just ALWAYS there...
NO MATTER WHAT...
Yes I'm a FUCKING IDIOT but also yes...
I am ALWAYS and always will be there for her...
Whenever she needs me...
And then leaves me when "she's happy"...
Or happier without me...
When we're JUST together...
It's ONLY me...
Amazing...
PURE LOVE...
Or "love" ...
After that it's like the love is less...
Why didn't he stay...
So that my heart just wouldn't be so broken inside...
4 years ago...
But something that I'll never forget...
Never...
Forever and always love him...
No matter what...
True love...
Love...love...love...