" My Nights " ...

I lay down in bed every single night...

I don't know why I ever even bother... 

I never really close my eyes in peace... 

So well yeah... 

I just lay there... 

Awake... 

Until eventually... 

I just get up... 

Take the keys...
Drive over...
Pick up five beers...
Drive to the open beach...
Park over there...
Drink them...
Wait till the sun comes up till I fully sober up...
And then drive back early in the morning...
Mama has been so sick...
Just been back and forth from Khorfakkan to here...
Checking on Shan Di and mama...
She was always this weak...
Never told me...
Found out only after seeing her when I came back home...
Never noticed on Skype, or pictures, or even on the phone...
Always kept her smiling head up...
To not worry me...
Bad daughter...?
For sure...