" Why " ...

I kissed her last night...

I remembered every bit of that... 

Even if it was for a second... 

That second time stopped... 

That second of happiness... 

Like it was all okay... 

But then after that second... 

The next second... 

I died inside... 

Knowing it was not what it was... 

Spent the whole of last night crying... 

No sleep... 

Broken inside... 

She thinks I'm strong... 

When we text I put on a brave face... 

But i just want her back so bad... 

To be in her arms... 

To feel safe again... 

Everyone is leaving... 

The problem daddy had in the winter break... 

With his heart... 

It never fully went away... 

Thatha left me... 

Carmella might have cancer...just got back from the vet... 

Like why...? 

Just...why...? 

I just want my Thatha back... 

I just want my daddy to be okay... 

i just wanna be in her arms... 

I just wanna crawl there and close my eyes forever in her arms...die peacefully... 

I just want her back... 

Why... 

Why... 

Why...?